


Step Into Christmas Town

by rai_m



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Christmas, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Little bit of angst, M/M, minor original character death, themes of grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 14:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rai_m/pseuds/rai_m
Summary: Sonny's plans to coast through the Christmas season untouched by holiday cheer are disrupted when he inherits a Christmas tree farm and finds himself falling for the handsome lawyer managing the estate.





	1. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Robin Hood (kjack89)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/gifts).



> So this ended up a little... longer than I had anticipated. Sorry.
> 
> For Robin Hood (kjack89), who requested a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie type fic. Merry Christmas!
> 
> Based very loosely on actual Hallmark movie Christmas Land and featuring an equally loose understanding of lawyering, geography, and probably weather. Go with it, it's Christmas. In my head this takes place sometime between seasons 16 and 17.
> 
> Big thanks to everyone involved in setting up the exchange!

_Sonny grasped the brush in his hands and carefully applied the glue to the ornament before sprinkling on the glitter. He shook it a few times before holding it up to the light to examine it._

_“Look grandpa!”_

_His grandfather looked over from where he was helping Bella glue wings onto a cardboard angel and smiled. “That’s very good, Sonny. Do you want to hang it on the tree?”_

_Sonny jumped off his stool and ran over to the tree in the corner, standing on his tiptoes to hang his ornament as high as he could. He turned and smiled proudly at his grandfather who gave him a grin and a wink._

_“Good boy. I don’t think Santa Claus can miss that tree now, do you?”_

_Sonny shook his head and laughed. “Christmas is the best!”_

* * *

 “Christmas is the worst.”

Rollins snorted behind him, probably sick to the back teeth of his seasonal grumblings, but dragging a stumbling, wasted Santa Claus in a yellowing Santa suit behind him, he felt pretty justified in his declaration.

Liv was perched on the edge Fin’s desk, discussing some case or other, and looked up with barely concealed amusement. “What’s the story, Carisi?”

“Old St Nick here decided to expose himself a group of schoolkids in the middle of the park,” he said with disdain. “Pretty sure no amount of A Charlie Brown Christmas will get that image out of their heads.”

Liv rolled her eyes and beckoned a passing cop over. “Put him in a holding cell, let him dry out before I speak to him.” She turned back to Sonny. “How are the kids?”

“They pelted him with Coke cans until he pulled his pants back up,” Rollins cut in, evidently impressed. “I’d say they’re fine.”

Sonny dropped wearily into his chair with a groan. “What is is about the holidays that brings out the weirdos?”

“It’s the lights,” said Fin. “It does something to their brains.”

Rollins shook her head. “If you think they only come out at Christmas you haven’t been paying attention.”

“Let’s just hope for a quiet one this year, okay everyone?” That had become a common refrain from Liv over the past few days. It had been a long, tough year, and Sonny knew she was desperate to enjoy an uninterrupted holiday with Noah. Sonny had offered to cover Christmas to give her a break. He probably would have been landed with it anyway, but he hoped it would work in his favor right now.

“Hey, Lieu, can I have a word?”

She nodded and Sonny followed her into her office. She took a seat behind her desk and peered at him from over her glasses. “Something the matter, Carisi?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Well, not really. My grandpa died —”

“Oh, Carisi. I’m so sorry.”

He waved a hand. “It’s okay, he’d been sick for a while, and he gets to be with my grandma now.”

He swallowed his guilt that he wasn’t as upset as people expected, but the truth was he hadn’t seen his grandfather much in recent years, their relationship instead consisting of increasingly infrequent phone calls. He’d even had to miss the funeral because of work, a particularly brutal case that had kept them all at the precinct for days on end. His family had all said they understood, but it gnawed at him.

“The thing is, I got a letter a few days ago telling me that he’d left me some property, and they need me to get up there and sign the contracts. Plus, apparently the house is a mess and they need someone to go through it all, and my parents are on that cruise and my sisters have their kids...”

“Okay Carisi, I understand,” she broke in. “Where is it, and how much time do you need?”

“Long Island, and just a few days. Maybe a week. I know the timing isn’t ideal,” he said hurriedly, “but I’ve already said I’m happy to cover Christmas since I don’t have any kids to worry about, and I’ll cover New Year if you want me to as well.”

Liv tapped a pen on her desk while she considered it. “Okay Carisi. Take the week, but if anything big comes up I can’t promise we won’t need to call you back.”

He smiled gratefully. “Got it. Thanks Lieu.”

“I didn’t know you had family on Long Island?”

“Yeah, my pop’s family. He grew up there but got transferred to Staten Island for work. That’s where he met my mom.”

Liv smiled. “And I always thought you were Staten Island through and through.”

“Careful, Lieutenant,” Sonny warned playfully. His Staten Island heritage was not to be questioned.

She gave a friendly roll of her eyes and waved him off with a flick of her hand.

Sonny sat back down at his desk and pulled the letter from his jacket pocket to read again. ‘House and surrounding compound’. Such a nondescript way of describing what it actually was. He took out his phone and hit Bella’s name.

She answered with a distracted grunt.

He tried to contain a chuckle. “Hey Bells. How’s the baby?”

“Oh, she’s great. I’m the one who gets no sleep.” There was a pause and a muffled noise on the other end of the phone as she repositioned it. “What’s up, Sonny?”

“I spoke to my Lieutenant, I’m heading up next week.”

Bella huffed an incredulous laugh. “I still can’t believe he left you Christmas Town. What did he expect you to do with it?”

“I have no idea.”

“Is it even still running?”

“Guess I’ll find out. You know the offer still stands, if you want to come with me.”

“Trust me, Sonny, you don’t want a two hour drive with a screaming baby and your hormonal, overtired sister.” Her tone softened, recognizing his reluctance. “Look, it’ll be nice. You haven’t been up there in years, you used to love it when we were kids. It’ll be a walk down memory lane.”

Sonny didn’t tell her that was exactly what he was trying to avoid.

“Plus it’s Christmas, where better to be than Christmas Town?”

“Literally anywhere?”

Bella laughed. “Jeez Sonny, how did you manage to become such a Grinch growing up in this family?”

“Years of hard work and dedication,” he joked. He paused as he noticed a flustered looking older woman walking around the floor hesitantly, seemingly looking for help. “I gotta get back to work. I’ll call you when I get there, say hi to the baby for me.” He hung up quickly and stood, catching the eye of the woman who looked as though she recognized him.

“Hello!” She greeted with relief, tucking a strand of her otherwise immaculate hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I saw you at the park earlier?”

He shoved the letter and phone back in his jacket pocket. “Uh, yeah, that was me. You’re...?”

“My name is Donna Bailey, I was with the children that man… exposed himself to.” She curled a lip in disgust.

Sonny nodded in recognition. He’d seen her at the park, but had left her with some uniformed officers to take her statement while he’d dragged the world’s creepiest mall Santa to the precinct. “Ms. Bailey, of course. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Yes.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a card. “I realized I gave the officers who took my statement my home telephone number but I’ll be in Manhattan for a few more days. I wanted to make sure you had my cell if you need me.”

Sonny reached out and took the card. “Thanks Ms. Bailey, but you didn’t need to come all the way down here for that.”

She waved a hand. “The station is on the way back to our hotel. The children were a little riled up, I thought they could use some rest.” She sighed. “This is the last thing they needed.”

“Are you their teacher?” He asked, thinking that she didn’t look like any teacher he’d had growing up.

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “I run a sort of activity scheme for children who have… difficult home lives, shall we say. This was our big year end trip. We’re going to see a show later tonight.”

“Wow,” Sonny said with genuine admiration. “That must be a lot of work.”

“Yes, well,” She fidgeted with the gold ring on her hand. “We’re still quite new, but the children seem to enjoy it.”

Sonny smiled at her. She was clearly well off, and he figured there was probably a certain amount of guilt driving her to spend her retirement with young people who weren’t as lucky, but he was no less impressed with her because of that.

“Carisi!”

He turned his head at the sound of his name. Rollins was grabbing her things from her desk.

“Domestic on the Upper East Side,” she called over to him. “Liv said go check it out.”

“Great,” he muttered. He nodded apologies to Ms Bailey, who smiled kindly.

“Good luck, Detective. And Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah.” He smiled grimly. “Merry Christmas.”

* * *

 Christmas Town wasn’t really a town.

It had started as a small tree farm on the hill behind his grandfather’s house, but over the years it had grown into something more. It began with lights and decorations, attracting passers-by from the nearby road. Then his grandfather had started to dress as Santa to surprise the bored kids who had been dragged along by their parents to look at trees all afternoon. After a while he acquired a few log cabins to sell cookies and decorations and other assorted Christmas junk, and the place turned from Carisi’s Tree Farm into Christmas Town, an inexplicably popular local attraction. It wasn’t the biggest Christmas town, or the biggest tree farm, but his grandfather was always adamant it was the best.

That wasn’t readily apparent to Sonny as he drove past the faded welcome sign, an afternoon mist over the snow coating everything in a muted gray. There were no lights, and from where he parked by the house it looked like all the log cabins were locked shut. All in all it was smaller and dingier than he remembered.

And now it was his.

He pulled his bags out of the trunk and turned to face the house he hadn’t been in since he was a teenager. It looked the same, and he half expected his grandfather to rush out and meet him with a cheerful smile and a hug. The heavy silence he got instead made his heart hurt.

“You must be Mr. Carisi,” a voice called out.

“Sonny,” he replied on reflex, turning to look at the man crunching his way across the snow. His first thought was that he was handsome, green eyes and dark hair with a flash of gray, and he ducked his head to hide his staring. “Thanks for meeting me. You’re the caretaker?”

The man raised an eyebrow and looked down at what Sonny could tell close up was probably a pretty expensive wool coat and suit trousers. “I’m Rafael Barba, I’m the estate attorney.”

“Oh!” Sonny flushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume, the letter said I would be met by the caretaker, I didn’t, I mean I don’t...” He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

The man, Barba, was looking at him with a faint mix of amusement and impatience. “You were supposed to have been met by him, but I just happened to be here today so thought I’d cut out the middleman.” He held out his hand to shake.

Sonny took the proffered hand and was about to introduce himself properly when the name clicked with him. “Wait, Rafael Barba? The Brooklyn ADA Rafael Barba?”

Barba pulled his hand away a touch quickly. “I see my reputation precedes me.”

“Of course!” Sonny practically bounced with enthusiasm and Barba eyed him with some wariness. He cleared his throat while he tried to calm down and appear normal. “I study law at Fordham, and I’m a detective with Manhattan SVU. I’ve heard some stories.”

Barba looked away and smoothed down an imaginary crease on his coat, but Sonny picked up just an edge of preening in the action. “Entertaining stories, I hope.”

“Amazing,” Sonny breathed, and for the third time in 30 seconds kicked himself for sounding like an idiot. “I mean, you’ve worked on some amazing cases.” He was pretty sure he’d rescued that, although Barba’s smirk indicated otherwise. “I didn’t expect to find you doing estate law for a private firm?”

Barba shrugged. “I felt like a change,” he said simply.

Sonny frowned. A change for someone at Barba’s level meant a promotion or a change in district, not a wholesale change in specialty. He would almost certainly have had to retrain to some degree, and he didn’t think estate law was really worth all that effort. Before he could ask for any details, Barba spoke up.

“Well, it’s freezing.” He rubbed his hands together to emphasize the point. “Let’s get inside and we can go through the paperwork.” He started walking before Sonny had a chance to respond and he had to jog to catch up with him.

Barba led him to a vacant cabin at the far end of the clump of trees. It had been set up with an old metal desk, two folding chairs and a filing cabinet. He shrugged at Sonny’s curious look. “This place is a little out of the way of my office, it was easier to just work out of here when I needed to.”

“No, that makes sense,” Sonny said, looking around. “I just figured you for more of a mahogany guy.”

Barba smirked as he unlocked a drawer in the desk. “I couldn’t drag my bookcase up the hill.” He pulled out a pack of papers and motioned for Sonny to sit in the folding chair on the other side. “Okay, so just a few signatures and then it’s all yours.” He pushed the papers across the desk and handed Sonny a pen.

“You mind if I read through all this first?”

Barba raised an eyebrow and a hint of a smile crossed his face. “Of course.” He leaned back in his chair and watched Sonny leaf through the pages. “So you’re not from Long Island?”

“Staten Island,” Sonny responded. “The accent didn’t give it away?”

“A little. I just thought your family would have stayed in the area.”

So had his grandfather, but his father had inherited the Carisi stubborn streak and he had his own plans. It had always been the source of some tension between them and he suspected that’s why he was here signing papers and his father wasn’t.

“Guess my dad thought Staten Island was just too good to leave.” He chuckled at Barba’s unconvinced look. “What about you, are you still in Brooklyn?”

“Queens, these days” Barba replied, a note of surprise in his voice. “It’s not that far from the firm.”

“Right, I remember. My grandpa was friends with one of the partners, he kept threatening to call him up and get me a job there once I passed the bar.”

Barba sat back in his chair. “You didn’t want that?”

“Private practice never really appealed to me,” Sonny said distractedly, focused on re-reading a section of the contract. He belatedly realized what he had said and looked up apologetically. “No offence.”

Barba blew out a weary breath. “Believe me, none taken.” He nodded towards the papers Sonny had finished looking through. “All in order?” He asked.

Sonny blushed a little, worried that maybe he’d taken too long and insulted the man. “Yep, all good.” He signed where Barba had placed the colored tabs. “Sorry, contract law really put me off skimming, you know?”

“I’d be concerned if you didn’t read through it,” Barba said. “Well, congratulations,” he said, taking the signed papers back. “You’re now the proud owner of Christmas Town.”

“Great,” Sonny said flatly. A brief frown flashed across Barba’s face and Sonny smiled to show he wasn’t ungrateful for all his work. “Can I ask your professional opinion? How long do you think it’ll take to sell? I mean, I know there will be some delays with Christmas coming up.”

“You’re selling?” Barba’s voice pitched up, though his face stayed perfectly neutral.

“Well, yeah,” he said, as if it was obvious. “I have a job, I can’t exactly move out here to manage a tree farm and some small town Christmas attraction.”

“No, of course not,” Barba murmured. “I just thought… well, never mind.” He busied himself shuffling some papers on his makeshift desk. “Your grandfather mentioned you wanted to be an ADA?”

“One day, maybe. If I pass the bar.” He felt a strange sort of pang at the thought of his grandfather discussing him with strangers. He realized he'd never have the chance to tell him if he did pass. “Did you talk to my grandpa a lot?”

Barba rolled his eyes. “I heard your entire family history in one five minute phone call. You can imagine what an hour long meeting was like.” He tapped a hand on the desk thoughtfully, and his expression softened. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to sound so surprised that you want to sell. I got a different impression from your grandfather, that’s all.”

“He told you I loved the place, right? That I’d be thrilled right now?”

“Something like that. You’re not?”

Sonny sighed wearily. “I mean, I liked this place well enough when I was a kid. But you grow up, you know? You realize life isn’t all tinsel and presents, and that Santa looks an awful lot like your grandpa with a pillow strapped to his chest.”

“You should put that on a Christmas card.”

Sonny snorted. “I guess it’s a little like how working at McDonald’s puts you off the burgers.”

“I guess,” Barba said dryly, sounding very much like he was humoring him. “Well, look, if everything is in order here I can take you round to see the house. I’m sure you want to have a look through his things.”

The mention of the house made him feel vaguely uneasy, but he nodded his agreement anyway and together they made their way out of Barba’s temporary office and walked down the path towards his grandfather’s house.

The house was as Sonny remembered, if a little more run down. He brushed a hand over the bright red door, a rush of nostalgia causing his breath to catch in his throat. Barba let him walk ahead, seemingly content not to rush him.

He stopped short when he reached the living room, taken aback by the stacks of messily filled boxes and scattered knick knacks.

“Wow,” Sonny murmured, taking everything in. “This is… a lot.”

“Yeah,” Barba agreed, idly pulling back the flaps of the boxes he passed. “Your grandfather organized as much as he could before he passed, but he’d accumulated a lot over the years.” He glanced over at Sonny. “So, I should leave you to it.”

“Sonny Carisi?”

Before Sonny could examine why his instinct was to ask Barba to stay, a booming voice called to him from the hallway. They both looked towards the door, and a large friendly looking man in a red checked shirt burst into the room. He grabbed Sonny’s hand and shook it enthusiastically.

“It’s so good to see you back here, son. We’ve missed having a Carisi round the place.”

“Thank you,” Sonny smiled, looking over the man’s shoulder to Barba who quickly picked up on his expression.

“Sonny, I’m sure you remember Mr Lombardi, the caretaker.”

A memory came to him, of a cheerful older man who put him on his shoulders to hang stars on the tops of trees.

“Mr Lombardi, it’s great to see you again.”

“Sonny, please. Call me Ed.” He grinned widely. “I tell you, it was great to hear your grandfather had left the old place to you.” He leaned heavily on one pile of boxes. “Now, I hate to get straight down to business but I’m sure you want to know what’s been going on. I’ve been taking care of the land and the trees, don't you worry about that, but we haven’t been in a position to open since your grandfather got sick.” He looked sad for a second before his face brightened again. “But now you’re here we can make a start! I know it’s practically Christmas already but it would be great if we could open the place even for a few days.”

Sonny swallowed heavily and looked to Barba for help, but he simply looked back at him with a challenging smirk. “Mr Lombardi, thank you for all your work, but I’m actually not planning on opening Christmas Town.”

Ed held his hands up. “Oh, I understand,” he said sympathetically. “It is very close to the big day, after all. But maybe we could do something low key this year, and then next year...”

“No,” Sonny jumped in, feeling awkward and maybe a little ashamed. “Actually I’m not going to be opening it at all. I’m going to sell it.”

“Sell it?” The man looked horrified and Sonny could have sworn he heard Barba snigger.

”Yeah, I mean, this place needs a lot of work and I have a full time job. I’m a…”

“A cop, I know. Your grandfather used to talk about you and your sisters all the time. How much you loved this place. How happy he was to be able to leave it to you.” Each sentence was more accusatory than the last.

“I understand, it’s just…”

“No, no. I get it.” Ed said dismissively, as he raised a hand to silence him. “You’re busy. Kids today, they don’t have a minute. Not a minute to think about the important things in life. It’s all high powered jobs and iPhones nowadays.”

Ed continued muttering as he walked out the door, leaving Sonny with a very amused looking Barba. He rubbed a hand down his face with exasperation.

“Okay. That seemed like a bit of an overreaction.”

Barba didn’t attempt to conceal his grin. “He’s very committed to his job.”

“I got that,” Sonny muttered. “Did my grandpa tell everyone I was going to get this place up and running again?”

“I told you, he liked to talk.”

“It’s a family trait.”

“Yes. I’d picked up on that.” Barba seemed to take pity on him then, sighing. “Look, if you really want to sell quickly I might know some interested buyers who could take it off your hands before the new year.” He held up a finger at Sonny’s excited smile. “But if you want my advice, clean the place up a bit first. You’ll get a better price if people can see the… potential.”

Sonny smiled gratefully. “Thank you. I know this is a little outside your job description.”

“No problem.” Barba cast him a sideways glance. “I charge by the hour.”


	2. Deck The Halls

Sonny waved Barba off at the door and turned to face the mess of boxes and papers stacked in front of him. He peeked into the closest box and found what looked like a mix of old bank statements and National Geographic magazines. He picked through a few more boxes, finding nothing particularly interesting, before coming across one with ‘FAMILY’ scrawled across the front. Inside, he found a neat stack of photo albums, clearly labeled by year. He shuffled through a few before finding one dated 1983-87, and pulled it out.

The first few pages were filled with pictures of his older sisters, running round the Christmas tree, covered in flour from an attempt to bake cookies, and posing with his grandparents in their ridiculous Christmas sweaters.

He turned another page and found a picture of himself aged around 5, opening a ridiculously large present under an even more ridiculously large tree. He smiled softly at the memory. They were always allowed to open one present before Christmas Day, and every year they’d pick the biggest one, and every year his grandfather would have filled the giant box with a single toy car or a box of crayons. The kids would roll their eyes and laugh, and their grandfather would cackle from behind the camera as he spent an entire roll of film documenting the joke.

For the first time since his grandfather had died Sonny felt the painful stab of grief in his heart. He closed the album over and put it back in the box.

He pushed himself off the floor with a grunt and went to explore the rest of the house. Most of the rooms were filled with boxes, though the bedrooms were relatively clear of mess. He kicked his shoes off in the guest room and sat on the edge of the bed, deciding that he would unpack there instead of the master bedroom. He lay back on the bed with a sigh, trying to settle the strange feeling in his stomach, a mix of nostalgia and sadness that left him feeling off center. He thought about the prospect of selling Christmas Town. Barba was probably right, the place could use a little sprucing up to attract some interest. There were probably a lot of people out there who would love to buy a kitschy Christmas tourist trap. Maybe if he found someone crazy enough to keep the Town up and running, Ed would be happy.

He closed his eyes. If he put his mind to it, he could be out of here within a few days without upsetting anyone.

* * *

Sonny woke with a start to the sound of the doorbell ringing. It wasn’t quite dark outside yet and when he checked his watch it looked like he’d only dropped off for around an hour. The long night he’d spent tidying up all his work before he left for Long Island evidently had caught up with him. The doorbell continued to ring insistently and he dragged himself down the stairs to answer it. He almost turned and walked right back up when he saw Ed’s blurred form through the window, but that would have been childish.

Tempting, but childish.

“Ed,” he said as he opened the door, fixing a smile to his face. “What can I do for you?”

“Sonny, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I can get a little… carried away when it comes to Christmas Town.” He clapped him solidly on the shoulder. “But I understand that it’s yours now and it’s up to you what you do with it.”

“I appreciate that,” Sonny said, because as much as he was going to do what he wanted anyway, deep down he didn’t want to upset anyone.

“But,” Ed started, and it took all of Sonny’s strength not to sag against the door frame. “I was speaking to Mr Barba and he said that you were planning on doing the place up for Christmas and I thought, well, if that isn’t my specialty!”

Sonny was going to kill Barba. He was very possibly going to ask him out and then kill him.

Ed seemed to take Sonny’s silence as a good sign and grasped his arm, practically yanking him out the door. “Come on, I have something to show you!”

Sonny just had time to grab his coat from where he’d left it lying in the hallway before Ed pulled him out into the snow and up towards the cabins. Barba was leaning against the wall of the nearest cabin, carefully arranged so that his coat was touching the least amount of wall possible. Sonny eyed him suspiciously.

“You’re still here.”

Barba made a strong attempt at looking deliberately disinterested. “I had some paperwork to finish. I’m leaving now.” He made no attempt to move.

“Ed said you told him I was planning on doing the Town up for Christmas.”

Barba smiled faintly at Sonny’s accusing tone. “Not quite.”

“Oh, close enough,” Ed said, cutting in between them. “Anyway, whatever you want to do, I think this will help.” He ran off with more energy than Sonny expected from a man of his age.

“I’m exhausted just watching him,” he muttered to Barba.

“Tell me about it. I’ve been trying to leave for 15 minutes.”

They were distracted by muttering from behind the cabin, swearing, and the sound of a boot connecting with something heavy. Then, “There it is!” and suddenly, the cold gray area in which they were standing burst into life. Streamers of lights Sonny hadn’t noticed before flickered and danced across the roofs of the cabins and twinkled in the windows. Somewhere a festive tune played on a tinny speaker. Sonny turned to Barba to make a crack about the gaudiness of it all but swallowed his words when he saw him gazing up at the lights, entranced. It was so unexpectedly sweet Sonny couldn’t help but smile too.

Ed appeared from behind the cabin and put his hands on his hips as he surveyed the town. “This is just a start, of course. I have plenty more decorations packed away.”

“Uhh, Ed,” Sonny warned. “This is great, but we don’t want to go overboard. We just want to give people a flavor of Christmas Town.”

Ed grinned. “Sure boss. Just a flavor.” He strode off, agreeing to come back the next day to start decorating properly, a phrase that made Sonny’s blood run cold.

He turned to Barba. “It’s going to look like a snow globe here by tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Barba said. “He seems like a man who appreciates moderation.”

Sonny laughed. “Come on, you must be freezing. I’ll make you a coffee before you go.”

Barba raised an eyebrow, just briefly, before settling into a smirk. “How about a gingerbread latte?”

“Don’t push it.”

* * *

 

The next morning Sonny woke up to a slew of texts from Rollins asking him how things were going and when they would all get an invite to ‘Santaville or whatever’. He smiled as he scrolled through her messages about all the paperwork she had to do. She told him things were unusually quiet and Liv didn’t expect to have to call him back. He was surprised to feel relieved. Only yesterday he would have welcomed being called back for nothing more than a photocopying backlog.

He got himself ready and made his way down to the kitchen to see what he could scrounge together for breakfast. He’d brought some bread with him, and popped a few slices into the toaster. He went to get a cup for coffee, and smiled when he saw the two cups on the draining board. Barba hadn’t stayed for long the previous evening, and they’d mostly discussed the weather and the traffic, but it had been nice.

He made his coffee and looked around the kitchen as he sipped it, picking out the little things that had changed since he was last in the house. Nothing much had physically changed, but it was funny how different the house felt without his grandfather’s personality taking up every corner. The house was filled with knick knacks and overflowing boxes, but it felt empty.

He shook away his more mournful thoughts and finished his breakfast quickly. He pulled on his coat and scarf and made his way up towards the tree farm, where he fully expected to find Ed standing in a Santa suit throwing tinsel at passers-by and ringing a bell.

What he found wasn’t too far off. The log cabins were festooned in more lights than he remembered seeing the night before, and the doors to two were lying open, showing the mounds of glittery decorations inside. He sighed. It was only 10am.

“Wow. Ed moves fast.”

Sonny spun round to see Barba making his way up the hill, casual in jeans and a puffy coat that Sonny immediately thought made him look adorable.

“Mr Barba,” he called out. “More paperwork to finish?” There was a note of teasing in his voice, and he hid a smile as a flush developed on Barba’s cheeks.

“Actually I have the day off today. I was going to take my mother Christmas shopping, but I was curious to see what Ed’s interpretation of ‘a flavor’ of Christmas looks like.”

Sonny thought it was a long drive to make for curiosity, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he just gestured at the cabins.

“I think we’re still in the set up stage right now.” He picked up a box that was sitting by the door. “I was going to make a start on this one, try and keep it somewhat subtle. Do you…” He looked down at his shoes. “I mean, I could use some help, since you’re here.”

Barba gave an exaggerated put upon sigh that made Sonny grin.

“Come on. You can add it to my bill.”

“In that case,” Barba said, slipping past him and inside the cabin. “Let’s get started.”

The cabin was surprisingly clean for something that had been shut up for an extended period of time, and the tables and chairs had been neatly stacked towards the back. He vaguely remembered this cabin being used to sell handmade ornaments; he had a faint memory of sitting here with his grandfather while he made his own. He dropped the box on the floor and started to go through it. There were the usual odds and ends, but at the bottom were two spray cans.

“Fake snow,” he read off the label. “Do we need that? I mean, there is actual snow outside.”

“It’s all about the effect, Sonny,” Barba said, hanging back with a small smile on his face.

He looked at Barba uncertainly but shook the cans anyway, pointing one at the window of the cabin and spraying.  He coughed at the smell and stood back.

“Like that?”

“Sure,” said Barba, sounding like he was on the verge of laughing. He pointed at the box with his foot. “Most people put the stencils up first, but you’ve gone for that complete blizzard effect. It’s a bold choice.”

“Okay, shut up,” Sonny muttered, wiping at the glass with the corner of his sleeves.

Barba shook his head with amusement. “Don’t you decorate at home?”

“I live in a shoebox on the 8th floor, decorations tend to get in the way.” He shifted under Barba’s stare. “I put a wreath on the door.”

“Someone bought it for you and you felt obligated?” Sonny kept his mouth shut and Barba snorted. “Okay. Maybe we should start with something simple. Like the tree?” He dragged over a small box containing a pop up Christmas tree.

“You realize we’re surrounded by real trees.”

“If you want to cut one down and drag it back, then by all means,” Barba grunted, pulling various bits and pieces out of the box. Sonny watched him fit the poles together after a few false starts, then he fixed a flat circular thing to it and pulled it up, forming a passable looking tree. “There,” Barba said, with some satisfaction. “Stage one complete.”

Sonny looked at the slightly sagging tree and then back to Barba. “Just how much am I paying you for this?”

“I’m giving you a very good rate,” Barba smirked.

Sonny felt his face heat up, and he turned away. “Still. I’m sure you’d much rather be working than doing this.”

Barba glanced over at him, considering his reply. “Actually, not really.” He looked around, as if he thought spies from his workplace would suddenly crash through the window. “I love places like this.” he confessed.

“Really?” Sonny couldn’t hide his surprise. “You do?” Admittedly he didn’t know Barba that well, but he didn’t immediately strike him as a Christmas town aficionado.

Barba gave a crooked smile. “My grandmother used to take me to places like this when I was a kid, whenever she could afford to. It was our tradition, just the two of us. We’d spend the whole day there, buying bad hot chocolate and hideous handmade decorations.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It was,” Barba said, mostly to the tree.

“What about your parents?”

“My mom worked, my father…” Barba went quiet, brushing uselessly at the fake needles of the plastic tree. “My grandmother looked after me a lot. Being here, it reminds me of her.”

The way he said it, Sonny knew that she’d died, and he wondered how recent it was. He opened his mouth to say something, but Barba coughed roughly and grabbed the cord for the tree lights.

“Is there somewhere I can plug this in that doesn’t carry a risk of electrocution?”

Sonny allowed Barba to duck out of the moment, his awkwardness obvious. He indicated a wall socket with his foot, but before they could continue, a little girl in a bright blue coat and a giant fluffy hat burst through the door.

“Is it open?” she gasped.

Sonny frowned down at her, wondering where she had come from. “Uh, what?”

A woman hurried up behind the girl and put her hands on her shoulders.

“Honey, please don’t run off like that.” She turned and smiled at Sonny. “I’m sorry, we were just driving past and saw the lights. We used to come here all the time, I was so sad when it was closed up last year.” She looked at them both hopefully. “Is it open again?”

“Well, actually…”

“Of course we’re open,” boomed a nearby voice. “I’ve been making Christmas cookies all morning, would someone like to help me?”

The little girl squealed and sprinted over to the cabin Ed had emerged from so fast that Sonny made a note to talk to her about the dangers of running off with strangers who offer sweets. Her mother sighed wearily and followed.

“Is there even an oven in there?” Sonny asked, perplexed.

Barba just shrugged.

“He’s not a real person” Sonny groaned. “He was sent from a Dr Seuss book to torture me.”

Barba laughed. “You know, I’m starting to get the impression that the prodigal son of Christmas Town hates Christmas.”

“I don’t hate Christmas,” he said sullenly. “I like going to Mass on Christmas morning. That’s what Christmas should be about.”

Barba rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to make some comment. Sonny cut him off before he could start.

“It's just… it’s all so false. There's so much pressure on everyone to be perfect, to be happy. And when that pressure is too much I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces. Bodies in front of Christmas trees. Kids asking if Santa will remember they're in the hospital.”

The silence hung heavily between them for a few seconds.

“Well,” Barba said slowly. “That was… dark.”

Sonny couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry. It’s just a tough season in my line of work.” He dropped the canister he was still holding back into the box and leaned against the wall to face Barba. “I mean, you worked in sex crimes. You get it.”

Barba nodded. “I get it. It’s tough, and I know how it wears on you.” He sighed and leaned against the wall, mirroring Sonny.  “But it’s easy to let it swallow you whole, forget that there’s more out there than the next case.” He looked past Sonny, distracted, before shaking his head and meeting his eye again with an embarrassed shrug. “Anyway.”

Sonny regarded him with a slight frown. He was increasingly surprised by Barba, the abrupt attorney who turned out to be someone Sonny had admired from afar, who then turned out to be charming and funny, and unexpectedly sweet. Somewhere, Rollins was rolling her eyes. Of course he’d show up to sort out his dead grandfather’s estate and come out with a crush on an attractive older lawyer. She always said he had a type. She wasn’t wrong.

His thoughts were broken by a pull on his coat sleeve.

“Mister?” A small voice asked. He looked down and saw the little girl from earlier holding up a red and white iced cookie. “This is for you. Thank you for opening Christmas Town!”

With that she skipped out the door and off in the direction of the Christmas trees. Sonny looked at the cookie in his hand and a smile broke across his face in spite of himself.

“You see,” Barba said, his own smile verging on smug. “It’s not all bad.”


	3. O Christmas Tree

Sonny had originally expected to be in Christmas Town for two days, tops. He’d sign some papers and box up his grandfather’s stuff, then be on his way. He’d extended his estimation when he’d agreed to put up a few decorations and tidy things up a bit, but he still expected to be out of there and managing the sale from home within four days. It was now almost a full week later and he found himself standing by his window, watching young families play in the snow and teenagers he was relatively sure he wasn’t paying drag trees down the hill to waiting cars.

Out of pure stubbornness he refused to put up a sign declaring Christmas Town open, but people had flooded in regardless, drawn by the lights as well as excited local word of mouth. He knew the place had been popular in the surrounding area, but he wasn’t prepared for the sheer amount of good will people had towards it. Ed welcomed all curious visitors with a bright smile and a conveniently full itinerary of activities. Sonny had asked Barba if they even had all the right licenses and permissions to operate any more, Barba had shrugged and told him they were probably in one of the 300 boxes of his grandfather’s things he hadn’t looked through yet. It was a pointed comment, Sonny knew. Barba had been over enough times for coffee to notice that the pile of boxes didn’t seem to be moving. He knew he needed to deal with it, but there had just been so much to do. There may only have been a few cabins, but they’d all needed some work done, then there were issues with the electricity, decorations needed to be taken down and put back up again… he wanted to make sure everything was in the best possible condition to help with the sale.

Barba, meanwhile, had found some reason to drop by almost every day since they’d first met. In the beginning he’d usually had some form of paperwork with him, or he’d say he was taking photos of the land for buyers, but the last couple of days he’d been showing up with no excuses, content to listen to Sonny’s complaints about being unexpectedly surrounded by Christmas mania. Work finally caught up with him yesterday afternoon and he hadn’t been back, and Sonny found he missed his company. This Yuletide nightmare didn’t seem quite as bad when he was around.

He knew he had a crush, but it was okay, because he was pretty sure Barba had one too.

Very sure, since Barba was at his door at 10 in the morning, calling his name as he let himself in. Sonny grinned into his coffee cup and went to meet him at the door.

“You’re attracting quite the crowd,” Barba observed, kicking snow off his shoes.

“None of that,” Sonny said, waving at the crowd of children playing on the hill, “is my doing. You want a coffee?”

“Actually, no.” Barba hadn’t taken his coat off, and stayed close by the door. “I’m here on business.”

Sonny felt a small tug of something, either anticipation or disappointment. “Oh?” he said neutrally.

“I need a Christmas tree.”

Sonny barked a laugh. “You’re kidding? Barba, it’s December 15th, you haven’t got one already?”

Barba raised a defensive hand. “ _I_ do. But I was telling my assistant about this place, and it seems she told the other assistants, and now there appears to be some sort of mutiny to replace the tree in the office lobby.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“I’m told it’s ‘sad and soulless’, which I would have thought was perfect for a private law firm, but apparently it’s bringing down the mood.”

Sonny laughed again. “I think I can probably hook you up with something.” He grabbed his coat and scarf and pulled them on as he opened the door. “Come on, I’ll take you up to have a look.”

They crunched up the snowy hill toward the tree farm in companionable silence when a thought struck Sonny. “How are you going to get this back?”

“I was just going to drag it on the subway,” Barba said, looking at Sonny out of the side of his eye. “I have a car, Sonny, I believe people put them in the back or tie them to the roof?”

“I believe they do,” he replied with a grin. “Still, you might have been better off finding somewhere closer.”

Barba shrugged. “I know the proprietor here, I thought he could do me a deal.”

Sonny pretended to consider it for a moment. “How about I don’t jack up the price even though your fancy private firm will be paying for it?”

“Sounds fair.”

“Good. Then this is us.” He gestured around at the clump of fir trees, some already covered with lights with tacky looking decorations hanging off them. “Which one do you want?”

“What kind of sales pitch is that?” Barba scoffed with false affront. “I drove all this way, I expect some expert advice.”

Sonny gave him a look, but Barba folded his arms with a smirk and nodded expectantly towards the trees.

“Fine,” Sonny said, with a roll of his eyes. He waved half-heartedly towards the tree closest to them. “So, this is a Colorado Blue spruce. Not one I’d recommend for office use, because the needles are too prickly, but people seem to enjoy the smell.”

Barba stepped forward and breathed in the scent of the tree. “Not bad, but health and safety comes first. Any other options?”

“We have the Fraser fir,” Sonny said, crossing to the other line of trees. “A good looking tree for those who value appearances over everything else.”

Barba snorted and Sonny continued with a smile, starting to settle into his role. He’d done this a long time ago, as a teenager, and it all started to come back to him. “You see how the needles have two colors, dark green on top and silvery underneath. It’s a tree that makes an impression.”

Barba stood back and appraised the tree with a thoughtful look. “It’s a little narrow for my purposes.” He ducked behind the needles and circled round, peering out at Sonny with a smile. “I need something bigger, warmer. Something that really says ‘Christmas’”.

“Ah. I think I have just the thing, if the gentleman would follow me.”

Barba chuckled behind him and Sonny found it hard to hide his own grin. He felt like a kid again, showing off in front of a pretty local, only this time he had the benefit of confidence and a generally less gawky air. He spun round with a flourish and gestured at the large green tree he stood next to. “This is the Scots pine, the classic Christmas tree.”

Barba dragged a hand along the needles as he walked around the base of the tree. Sonny followed closely behind him. “Good shape. Does it need much upkeep?”

“Nope. The benefit of a tree like this is the excellent needle retention.”

“Needle retention? Nice.”

“Oh, I know all the terms. Did you know its Latin name is Pinus sylvestris?”

“Fascinating.” Barba cocked his head to the side, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Well, I’m sold. I’ll take this one.”

“A fine choice, sir,” Sonny said with an exaggerated bow. Barba rolled his eyes but laughed, and Sonny was suddenly struck by how beautiful he looked, lit by the soft silver lights on the trees around them, flakes of snow melting in his hair.

Before he could think better of it, he leaned forward and kissed him. Barba didn’t react with surprise, and Sonny could feel him smile as he pressed their lips together. His lips were soft and warm against the cold, and his hand came up to the back of his neck and gently rested there.

Barba was the first to pull away, but he kept his hand on the back of Sonny’s neck, stroking gently with a thumb. His eyes flicked up to meet Sonny’s, and he looked surprisingly bashful.

“I should get back,” he whispered.

“Right.” Sonny stood back reluctantly. “I’ll get someone to cut this and bring it down to your car.” He waved towards one of the kids he knew worked here and the boy nodded with a suggestive wink that Sonny ignored.

Barba bumped shoulders with him. “Come on. You can walk me back.”

Sonny swallowed. “Sure.”

They walked back to Barba’s car, close enough that their hands kept brushing together, causing a little jolt of electricity to run through Sonny each time. Barba looked around as they walked down the hill, taking in the beautifully decorated cabins and sounds of laughter within. He sighed as they got close to the car.

“I wish I could stay here. It seems much more appealing than reading contracts all day.”

Sonny slowed down, chewing over whether it was appropriate to say what he wanted to say.

Barba noticed that he’d fallen behind and turned. “Okay. Out with it.”

Sonny strode down to join him by the car. “It’s nothing,” he said. He caught Barba’s look out of the side of his eye and sighed. “It’s just, you don’t seem to like your job very much.”

“I like my job fine. It pays the bills.” Barba said mildly.

“And that’s enough?” Sonny asked, gently prodding. He’d been curious since they met as to why Barba had given up a job with the Brooklyn DA’s office for what was seemingly a low tier private firm. It was too odd a move to be made for money alone.

Barba leaned against the hood of the car and examined Sonny’s face carefully. He seemed to find what he was looking for, and sighed. “I made a mistake. A bad one. It was hard to keep working there after it. I needed a break, to keep myself sane.”

“What’d you do, kill someone?” Sonny joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Barba looked at him from under his lashes, and his heart stopped. “Jesus, you killed someone?”

“No!” Barba came back immediately, before faltering. “Not exactly.” He shifted uncomfortably against the car and looked away. “I was prosecuting a rape and murder. It was a bad case, and my only witness was a heroin addict who showed up to the trial so strung out she could barely speak. I couldn’t get a recess and when she asked for money, I gave it to her.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “She came back and I didn’t ask any questions, she gave her testimony and the guy, that scumbag, he went down for life. It was a win.”

Sonny nodded, his brow furrowed with curiosity. “Then?”

“Then I went back to the office, poured myself a celebratory drink, and got the call that my witness had died of an overdose.” He shook his head. “Mariana. Her name was Mariana. She had a daughter.”

Barba glanced at him and quickly looked away, but Sonny caught the sad and desperate look in his eyes. He wanted to say something, tell him it wasn’t his fault, he made a mistake but he was hardly a murderer, but all the words got caught in his throat.

He was saved from having to say anything by the arrival of the teenager from the tree farm, dragging the netted tree behind him. Barba handed him the keys and the kid got to work, putting the seats down and arranging the tree carefully in the back, all while Sonny and Barba stood in awkward silence. When he’d finished, Barba gave the kid a tip and Sonny found his words.

“Were you fired?”

“No. I ran.” He smiled lifelessly. “Took some time out, but I’m not very good at not working. One day I ran into a friend with a firm who owed me a favor and got a job as far away from what I’d been doing as possible.”

“Barba…”

Barba shook his head and turned towards Sonny without actually looking at him. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have told you all that.”

Sonny wanted to tell him he was glad he told him, but it seemed like an insensitive to say. “Why did you tell me?”

Barba shrugged. “You asked,” he replied simply. He folded his arms tightly around himself and inclined his head towards Sonny. “I told you, this job can swallow you whole. I got jaded, stopped caring, and I let it. You shouldn’t.”

Lost for words, Sonny watched Barba kick idly at some snow before pushing away from the hood of the car. Sonny grabbed his arm as he walked past. Barba didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Hey.” He reached out and turned Barba’s face towards him, pulling him in for another kiss. He rested their foreheads together for a moment, hoping to communicate everything he felt without ruining it with the words he couldn’t find. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Barba smiled with relief. “Of course.”


	4. Blue Christmas

Sonny woke with a smile the next morning, and a warm feeling of anticipation. Maybe it was ridiculous, turning into a giddy teenager over two kisses. But there was something special about Barba, and something special about this week, in amongst the snow and the lights and the laughter. Everything felt magical.

God, he was starting to sound like Ed.

He took a walk through the town and up around the trees, smiling at the early morning visitors who greeted him with a cheerful wave. The snow had stopped falling the night before, but it still lay deep on the ground and covered the tree branches. The lights reflected softly off the white, giving everything a peaceful blur.

There wasn’t much to work on that day, so he settled in the house with a book until he heard Barba’s car arrive. He tried very hard not to rush out the door to meet him but his resolve weakened when he saw Barba smile at him, and he hopped into a jog.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” Sonny grinned. “I have something to show you.”

Barba raised an eyebrow with a smirk and Sonny rolled his eyes. “Shut up. Come here.” He grabbed his hand and pulled him round to the back of the house where a small outbuilding stood. “I hadn’t got round to looking in here, I thought it would just be junk, but I checked it out last night. Look.”

He lifted the shutter and switched on the light, pulling Barba in behind him. The place was surprisingly clean of junk, only a few tools and paint pots lying around, and in the center stood an old fashioned white sled, a little worn but beautifully made.

Barba blew out a breath in admiration, walked over and ran a hand along the side of the sled. He glanced back at Sonny with a soft look in his eyes. “Where did this come from?”

“It must have been in here for years. I remember my grandma and grandpa used to ride on it the night they turned the Christmas lights on.” He smiled wistfully at the memory. “My sisters and I used to fight to sit with them.”

“I asked my mom if we could go on a sleigh ride once. She told me if God intended us to travel by horse he wouldn’t have invented cars.”

“I think I like your mom.”

Barba grinned.

“I was thinking it would be good for families,” Sonny said, indicating the sled. “We could get a horse, set up little rides around the trees.”

“Get a horse?” Barba laughed. “You’re really getting into this.”

Sonny shrugged sheepishly. “Maybe some of your Christmas spirit is rubbing off on me.”

“Ah, so you don’t think Christmas is the most terrible time of the year?”

“I admit, I’m starting to appreciate its good points.” He pulled Barba towards him by the lapels of his coat. Barba covered his hands with his own.

“Before you start, I have some news for you.”

Sonny dropped his hands and ran them down Barba’s arms. “What’s up?”

“I’ve found you a buyer.”

Sonny’s heart sank, the intensity of his disappointment taking him by surprise. He took a step back. “Oh,” he said weakly. “Who is it?”

Barba watched him carefully. “A local property developer. He expressed interest in the land before, but your grandfather didn’t want to sell.”

“Why not?”

Barba shrugged. “It was his home. And I don’t think he was happy with what he planned to do with it.”

“What did he – does he - plan to do?”

“I can’t say for sure, but based on his history I’d say he wants to build housing on it.”

Sonny rubbed his arm uncertainly. “That’s good, right? People always need homes.”

Barba looked away, but not quickly enough to hide his derisive expression. “If they can afford them. He tends to build things on the higher end of the scale. Luxury apartments and things like that.”

Sonny blew out a breath. “Okay. Well, I guess people need those too,” he said hesitantly. He looked to Barba for support. “How much is he offering?”

Barba’s mouth tightened and he reached into his coat and pulled out a letter. He glanced at it before handing it to Sonny.

Sonny unfolded the paper and his eyes widened when he saw the figure. Even after paying off his grandfather’s debts and what was owed to the bank, the money was more than enough to pay his law school fees. “I...wow. That’s more than I was expecting.”

“He’s very interested,” Barba said softly.

“Yeah… sorry, I just didn’t expect this to happen so soon. He hasn’t even been round to see the place.”

“He’s seen it before.”

“Right.” Sonny stared at the figure in front of him and tried to tell himself it was the shock that was making his stomach churn. Selling made sense, it was what he always planned to do. And this was an amazing offer. He looked at Barba again, who was watching him with enough concern to make him feel self conscious.

Sonny gestured to him with the letter. “I mean, I guess this is the best option.”

“Sonny, there’s no pressure here. He’s just expressed an interest, you can wait and consider your options.”

Sonny nodded slowly, some of the tightness in his chest easing. “Right. Okay. I guess we can wait, see if we get some more offers.”

“Right.” Barba paused. “And you know, you don’t have to sell,” he added.

A stab of guilt flared in Sonny’s chest as Barba gave voice to the nagging feeling in the back of his head. “Don’t start.”

Barba raised his hands defensively. “I’m just saying, I know you’ve really come round on the place.”

Sonny spun round with a huff. “A few strings of Christmas lights don’t make my law school fees disappear.”

“I do understand that, Sonny,” Barba said, a slight edge to his voice. “But you have options. Your grandfather…”

“Please don’t tell me what my grandpa would have wanted,” he snapped harshly. Barba didn’t flinch, but raised an eyebrow, and Sonny sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just sick of people telling me what he would have wanted, what he expected me to do. I don’t need the constant guilt trip.”

“That’s not what I intended. Sonny —”

“And you know what?” Sonny interrupted, on a roll. “I think if it was down to my grandpa he’d care more about me not being in debt than anything else.”

“I’m sure he would,” Barba said tersely. Sonny could tell he was upset from the way his jaw was working, but he was trying not to show it. “But I’m your lawyer. It’s my job to make sure you don’t do anything you’ll regret later.”

“Oh come on,” Sonny said with a bitter laugh. “This isn’t about you being my lawyer, which you’re _not_ , by the way, and it’s not about my regrets. This is about you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, I get it. You’re not where you want to be with your career, and this place brings memories of when things were easier, but if you’re unhappy with your life it’s up to you to change that. It’s not up to me to pander to your nostalgia.”

He had genuinely meant that to sound understanding, because he knew what Barba had been through, but it took an abrupt turn into accusatory. The sharpness of the words distracted from the anxious turn of his stomach.

Barba looked at him silently for a second, his shoulders tense, then closed his eyes. Sonny thought he might actually be counting to ten.

When he opened his eyes again his expression was unnervingly calm. “I should get back to the office.”

Sonny winced, his sudden flash of anger wilting with nothing to rail against. “No, don’t. Not yet. Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a long week.” He reached out a hand and felt it like a punch in the chest when Barba subtly stepped away.

“Sonny, it’s fine,” he said, looking up at him with tired eyes. “But if you want some advice, look through your grandfather’s things. Deal with this.”

“I…”

“Call me when you make a decision on the offer.”

Barba strode out the door without looking back, and Sonny sank onto the edge of the sled. He felt breathless by how quickly he’d managed to screw things up. He’d always had a temper, but it usually took more to make him lose it. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He put his head in his hands and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, which were starting to well up in spite of himself. He heard the faint noise of Barba’s car driving away and kicked himself for not chasing after him.

He sat like that for a minute before he could work up the will to stand and walk back into the house. He stepped into the living room, still filled with unopened boxes, and was hit with a rush of emotion so strong he actually felt dizzy.

Sonny was right. His grandfather would have absolutely supported him selling Christmas Town if that’s what he needed to do. That wasn’t what was making him feel guilty. It was the fact that he couldn’t have the discussion with him face to face. It was missed calls and too short visits, unanswered letters and weak excuses. He prided himself so much on family and what it meant to him, and he felt like he’d let his grandfather down.

He was angry at himself. Barba had just gotten in the way.

He dragged a hand down his face and sat cross legged on the floor, pulling one of the boxes towards him.

He started with the photo albums.


	5. All I Want for Christmas Is You

It was past three in the morning by the time Sonny went to bed, his back aching from leaning over boxes and papers all day and night. He managed to get a few hours sleep before being wakened by the shriek of children playing. He looked out the window at what seemed to be a busload of families walking past the house and up the hill. Christmas Town really brought in the crowds at the weekend.

He rolled out of bed and checked his phone, his heart sinking when he saw nothing from Barba. His thumb hovered over Barba’s number, before he clicked back and shot off a quick text to Bella. He showered and dressed, then packed up what he needed for the day.

It was a bright and clear day outside and Sonny had to dodge more than a few snowballs as he made his way up to the cabins, balancing a couple of boxes in his arms. He managed to make it to the right door without too much drama, and shoved it open clumsily with a shoulder. A small group of children were inside concentrating over a table of paint, glue and glitter. Ed looked up at him from where he was helping a little girl paint a red nose on a handmade Rudolph.

“Sonny.” He greeted him warmly, but with a hint of surprise in his eyes. “Good to see you. What can we do for you?”

Sonny dropped the boxes on the floor and smiled at the curious kids who were craning their necks to see what was inside. “I was going through my grandpa’s stuff last night and came across a few things I thought you might want.” He nudged the box with his foot. “It’s just a few photographs, some ornaments.”

Ed pulled open the lid of the box with interest and smiled as he pulled out a framed photo of himself and Sonny’s grandfather, laughing in front of the trees maybe 30 years earlier.  Sonny had come across it last night and it had made him feel even worse, that he’d behaved badly to someone who had been so close to his grandfather.

“This is wonderful, Sonny,” Ed said hoarsely. “Thank you.”

Sonny smiled in return. “It’s the least I could do. I owe you an apology.”

Ed frowned. “What for?”

“I’ve been a jack…” He looked around at the children who were now watching him intently. “I’ve been a bit of a Grinch. I’ve been disrespectful to you, and to what you and my grandpa built.”

Ed was taken aback, but shook Sonny’s hand easily. “No apology necessary, but accepted all the same. And thank you for all this.” He grinned at the children. “Kids, this is Mr Carisi, he’s the owner of Christmas Town. Do you want to say thank you for all his hard work?”

The children piped up with a chorus of thank yous, and Sonny blushed. He tousled the hair of the nearest kid who giggled and looked up at him with a gap toothed smile.

“What are you making?” He asked, leaning down to look at what the boy was working on.

“Decorations for the Christmas tree,” he said with excitement. He reached across the table and picked out a plain silver ball. “Do you want to make one?”

“Uh, sure.” He folded himself onto the tiny bench clearly made for children. “What do I do?”

“You take the brush and you put some glue on it,” the little boy said, demonstrating with his own brush. Sonny followed his instructions and the boy smiled. “Okay! Now you roll it in the glitter.” He grabbed Sonny’s hand and guided it towards the bowl of glitter in the center of the table. He probably got more of it on his hands than anywhere else, but the boy seemed to approve of his handiwork.

“Nice job,” Ed said from behind him, sounding amused. “You want to hang that on the tree like the other boys and girls?”

The words brought back a memory from his childhood, of doing the same thing with his grandfather when he was very young, covering himself with glitter as he made a pile of messy decorations. But no matter what they looked like, his grandfather always loved them and hung them up with pride.

Ed must have noticed his teary eyes as he stood by the tree, trying to find a place to hang the ball. “Is something wrong?” He asked quietly.

“No,” Sonny whispered. “Just remembering something, that’s all. It’s a good thing.”

“Good,” said Ed, clapping him on the back warmly. “And Sonny, you should know. You’ve done a great job with this place. I’m glad we got to have one last Christmas here.”

“I don’t think I had much to do with that,” Sonny replied. “This is all you. Thanks for doing so much, I know my grandpa would have appreciated it.”

Ed rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Thanks, Sonny,” he said. “Would you like to have some lunch later?”

“That’d be great, actually. I have something I want to run by you. A business proposal.”

“Oh?” Ed perked up with interest. “Will your lawyer friend be by?”

Sonny gave an embarrassed laugh. Either he and Barba had been very obvious or his grandfather really did tell people everything about him.

“No, I don’t think he’ll be by today.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying not to look as upset as he felt. “We had a bit of a disagreement yesterday.”

“Ah. Well, Christmas is certainly a time for that.”

Sonny raised an eyebrow, surprised that Ed would acknowledge that the season could be less than picture perfect.

Ed laughed, reading into his expression. “It’s also a time for making things right. You should give him a call.”

“I will. I just want to sort something out first.” He nodded towards the assembled kids. “I’ll be around. Come by when you’re free and we can talk.”

He walked out the door to a chorus of goodbyes from the children and gave a relieved sigh. The next step was a bit of a leap, but he was confident it would work out.

He walked back into the house with a shiver and rubbed some feeling back into his hands, before pulling out his phone and scrolling until he found the number he needed.

“Ms Bailey? I don’t know if you remember me, this is Detective Carisi from the 16th Precinct.”

* * *

_“Hey, Barba, it’s Sonny. Carisi. Look, I know we haven’t talked since… but I think I’ve made a mistake with the contracts and I really need a lawyer. Can you come by, please?”_

Sonny wasn’t sure Barba would even listen to the message. There had been complete silence from his end since their spat the previous week. Sonny would have broken it, but he wanted to make sure he had everything in place before he said anything. Barba’s silence was starting to make him second guess his plans.

Everyone had arrived at Christmas Town by the early evening, sounds of laughter and celebration filling the air. Sonny did his best to join in, but his eye kept wandering to the road and his heart would race every time he saw headlights.

He was sitting on the front step of the house with a coffee warming his hands when Bella joined him.

“Sonny. You’re ignoring your guests.”

“Sorry.” He smiled weakly. “Just needed a bit of a break.”

She rubbed a hand down his back. “I’m really proud of you for doing this, you know that? I bet grandpa would be too.”

“Thanks Bells.” He bumped shoulders with her and smiled. “Maybe you should go check Tommy hasn’t accidentally dropped the baby in a snow bank or something.”

She swatted at his arm as a car pulled up nearby, making them both squint at the headlights. Sonny tensed as he tried to see past the lights, and Bella huffed a quiet laugh. “You know,” she said, picking up her bag. “I think I will go see what Tommy’s up to. Don’t stay out here too long, okay?”

He waved her off distractedly, then turned back toward the path. A relieved smile broke over his face as he saw Barba approach, looking curiously at the number of cars parked haphazardly around the house.

“Sonny? What’s going on?”

Sonny ran up to meet him. “Hey!” He stopped before he got too close, uncertain and nervous. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Barba furrowed his brow. “You said you needed help. Something to do with the contracts?”

“Yeah. I did say that,” Sonny said sheepishly. “Sorry, I was worried you wouldn’t come if I just asked.”

Barba shook his head, confused. “Sonny, what’s going on? Why are all these people here?”

“We’re having a celebration,” Sonny smiled, turning towards the hill. “I sold Christmas Town.”

Barba deflated slightly, his face taking on that unsettling neutral look. “Oh. Well, congratulations,” he said, without much feeling.

“No, no, it’s not what you think!” Sonny exclaimed with a laugh. “Look, I want you to meet someone.” He grabbed Barba’s hand, his uncertainty forgotten, and pulled him through a sea of excited, chattering children until he found who he was looking for.

“Ms Bailey?” She looked exactly as she had that day in the precinct, expensive clothes and perfect hair, only now her face was lit up with joy. “Ms Bailey, this is Rafael Barba, he’s the attorney I told you about.”

Donna turned away from the small group of children currently pelting each other with marshmallows from their mugs of hot chocolate, and greeted them both with a pleased cry.

“Oh, Mr Barba! It’s such a pleasure to meet you! I wanted to say thank you so much for everything you’ve done, it means so much to me and the children.”

Barba looked at Sonny, clearly pleading for some sort of explanation. “You’re… welcome?”

She laughed and pulled Barba into a hug, causing Sonny to hide a smile at his bewildered expression.

“Merry Christmas, Mr Barba!”

“And to you,” Barba muttered as she turned back to the children. He turned to Sonny. “I’ve missed something.”

“You have. Sorry, I had to go through one of your colleagues but I think everything is in place now.”

Barba waved a hand in an attempt to get him to slow down. “You said you sold Christmas Town.”

“Yes.”

“To who?”

“To Donna,” he said brightly. “She runs a group for kids in the city who don’t have a lot, takes them on trips and things like that. I thought this place would work pretty well for weekends away, summer camps…”

If possible, Barba looked even more confused than before. “You sold a Christmas tree farm to a youth group?”

“No. Well, yes. The Christmas tree farm will continue to exist, and some of the funds will go back into the group. Ed is going to stay on to run the farm, and Donna says she’s happy for him to run activities for the kids once he passes all the usual background checks. And at Christmas time all the local kids can come by too, just like they do now.”

Barba stared at him blankly as he tried to process everything Sonny had just told him. Sonny took his silence as an opportunity to do what he’d really invited Barba up there for. He took his hand again and pulled him to a quiet corner next to one of the cabins.

“I’m sorry,” he said, unable to contain it any longer. “I shouldn’t have blown up at you the way I did. I was just upset, and you happened to be in the firing line.”

Barba shifted and looked away guiltily. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have walked away. Not when I know about what you’re going through.” He shook his head. “I was too stubborn to call first. I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“I was never angry with you, not really.” Sonny took a deep breath. “What I said to you, about you wanting me to keep this place because of your nostalgia…”

“You may not have been entirely wrong,” Barba interrupted.

“Well, maybe,” Sonny said with a smile. “But I didn’t realize — look, I never loved this place. I loved my grandpa, but this was just his home. I never understood why everyone else was so crazy for it. But you, you loved this place before you even set foot in it, and that’s what made me understand. It’s about memory. People come here and they remember better times, they remember having fun and being with their families - being loved. It’s baked in to the place. I’ve been trying so hard not to remember, because I thought it would hurt too much, that I missed it. I missed how special this place is.”

Barba’s expression softened, and he squeezed Sonny’s hand. “Okay. Then I understand why you called _me_ here. But why did you sell Christmas Town to that woman and her kids?”

“Because you were right about something else. There’s a lot of terrible stuff in this world, but there are a lot of good things too. I want to focus on the good. Like Donna, and those kids.”  Sonny moved closer. “You told me places like this helped you when you were a kid. It helped me too. I think now it can help them. Anyway,” he said with a grin. “It’s Christmas. What better place could there be for kids?”

Barba dropped his head with a disbelieving laugh. “You're...”

Sonny shrugged, putting on a cocky demeanor to mask his relief. “I know, I’m pretty amazing.”

“How much did you sell it for?”

“Much less than some hot shot property developer would have bought it for, but enough. And anyway, this is all the payment I need.” He brought his hand up to cup Rafael’s cheek and leaned in for a sweet kiss.

Barba pulled away almost immediately, but he was smiling. “That was a terrible line.”

“Did it work?”

Barba rolled his eyes and fisted his hand in Sonny’s coat. “Come here.” He tugged him down to kiss him again, harder this time, and Sonny melted into his touch.

“You were right, you know,” Barba murmured against his lips. “I was miserable and too afraid to do anything about it.” He leaned back and looked up into Sonny’s eyes. “You made me want to fix that.”

Sonny frowned curiously, but the moment was broken by a strange noise from behind one of the other cabins.

“Oh, yeah,” Sonny said with a teasing smile. “I have another surprise for you.”

He led Barba round the back of the second cabin, where a huge white horse stood tied to the freshly cleaned and painted sled.

Barba burst out laughing, and Sonny grinned.

“Room for two,” he said, hopping onto the sled.  “You want to go for a ride?”

Barba, still laughing, let himself be pulled up and onto the seat. Sonny arranged a blanket across both of their laps and put his arm round Barba.

“Ready?”

“Ready for what?” Barba asked, still laughing. “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“I figure the horse’ll know,” Sonny said. He had done it years ago, but he suspected it probably wasn’t like riding a bike. “So?”

“Wait,” Barba said, his laughs dying down. He turned to Sonny, still smiling, but but with a serious look in his eyes. “This is terrible timing, but I guess it’s better to say it now.”

Sonny’s heart started to pound nervously, immediately running a hundred worst case scenarios through his brain. “What? Is something wrong?”

“No,” Barba said, shaking his head. “Actually the opposite.” He took a breath before continuing. “I had an interview yesterday. They’ve been asking to speak with me for a while, but I’ve been putting it off. It was with the Manhattan DA’s office. The sex crimes bureau.”

“Barba, that’s amazing! Did you get it?”

“I don’t know yet. But I have a good feeling.” He looked away, picking at a thread on the blanket. “The thing is, if I get it, we’d be working together. That could cause… problems.”

Sonny knew he was right, that there were all sorts of issues with an NYPD officer being in a relationship with an ADA he worked with. He knew that, but he was so happy that Barba thought they had something worth being concerned about he couldn’t bring himself to care about the complications. He also knew that it didn’t matter, because whatever happened, he was confident they would work it out.

“Rafael. It’s Christmas. Stop worrying.”

He flicked the reins and the horse took off with an unexpected jolt, and he rode into the snow with the feeling of Barba warm in his arms and the sound of their laughter echoing through the trees.


End file.
